you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
