Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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