I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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