There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
