how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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