The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize