so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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