um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
