You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
