My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
