he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
