Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
