well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize