It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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