Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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