i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
you made out with another girl for some wings
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
