everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
you traded sex for a burrito?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
