I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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