So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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