I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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