He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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