STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
