i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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