And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
