when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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