is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
farters have to be the big spoon...
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
