i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Randomize