They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
