you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
