I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
