Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
