Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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