He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
