if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I need a beard to bite.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
