We need to rekindle our bromance
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
