it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
