Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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