I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
