Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
