She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
