my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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