Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
How external is "for external use only"?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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