How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
