it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
