Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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