I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
