Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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