Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
