STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
