Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
