I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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