i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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