arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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