yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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