batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
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