I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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