He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
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