My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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