Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
