Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
