Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
