i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I FOUND THE LEGS
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
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