you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
