i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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