I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
