Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He better not be in your backpack
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
The Olympian is in my bed
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
