32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
