You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
my sisters under your porch take her home
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
