I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm always down for nudity.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
