butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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