She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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