I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
