apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
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