It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
