I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
